Reason #10: There is a better way than the a famous War of the Roses move script. Which portrayed the worst of the worst divorces. Even the nicest people can get caught up in the litigation trap and become different people, people who play games, people who look for ways to embarrass the other person or to get revenge against the other person, people who look for ways to win the war. It’s a good place to avoid.
Reason #9: Your children won’t have to decide who to invite to the wedding. Too many couples put their children in the position of choosing between parents. Which parent to invite to their football games, which parent to celebrate holidays with, which parent to take to parents’ day at school, which parent to love. What a burden to place on children, they should be free from such negative activity.
Reason #8: When litigation really heats up, dirty laundry is spilled all over the place. Things are said and done which can never be un-done. Scars are etched in family members minds that can never be forgotten. Dirty laundry should just be kept in the bag.
Reason #7: You get to tell the judge to leave you alone, and she has to do it. In litigated cases there are specific schedules that must be followed, specific dates when discovery is required, when hearings must be held and so forth. In a peaceful divorce, the clients set the schedule. The judge has to wait and be governed by the client’s schedule. They are not forced to complete aspects of the divorce until they are ready to do so. The power is in the hands of the clients.
Reason #6: Litigation jeopardy is just too unpredictable. It’s like playing Russian Roulette, you pay your money and take your chances. This is never a way to predict the outcome of a litigated case. The results are often not what either party would have chosen, but they are now bound by a decision of a third-party outsider.
Reason #5: Atticus Finch was the famous lawyer in To Kill a Mockingbird, and he fought for fairness and justice against all odds. Atticus would have supported a peaceful divorce process where the assets and debts are divided fairly and equitably and where the parents draft the parenting plan that is best for the children. He fought for the greater good.
Reason #4: Peaceful divorces help preserve relationships after the divorce with extended family at graduations, weddings, christenings, bat mitzvahs and on and on. Peaceful divorces also help preserve relationships after the divorce with the children and grandchildren, at sporting events, scouts, school plays, recitals and on and on.
Reason #3: One size does not fit all. People are different; situations are different. People should be able to make decisions based upon what is best for each of them and for their children.
Reason #2: Peaceful divorces help promote healthy communication after the divorce. How many people do you know who could not even carry on a simply, sane conversation with an ex-spouse especially when children are involved? It is important to be able to talk about issues concerning them. When there are no children there are often family member who want to continue to have a relationship with both parties. A peaceful divorce makes that possible.
Reason #1: Perhaps one of the most important reasons to choose a peaceful divorce is reason number one: Money doesn’t grow on trees. What sense is there in spending hard-earned money chasing information that can be shared voluntarily? What sense is there in paying attorneys to doing your talking and your negotiating, when you can sit down together with the help of peaceful attorneys, you can discuss solutions that both of you can support. What sense is there in spending your hard-earned money going to court only to sit around in court to wait until your turn to be heard by the judge. Money doesn’t grow on trees. Save what you have for more important things.