For spouses who are in the midst of a divorce and share children, the end of the marriage is not the end of their interactions with one another, even after the divorce is finalized. They must work together to co-parent and always ensure that they are safeguarding the best interests of their children and not allowing the past to interfere with those decisions. However, this is easier said than done, especially if there is a lot of bad blood or resentment between both parties. That said, this is not an insurmountable task. With some helpful tips, you can effectively co-parent with your ex-spouse throughout your divorce and ensure that the path forward is as smooth as possible for everyone involved.
Below are some tips to help divorcing spouses co-parent their children throughout this incredibly emotional process:
- Commit to nurturing an open dialogue with your former spouse: This does not mean your ex-spouse needs to be your best friend, but rather that you need to be able to communicate effectively and share information regarding your children. Work together to decide which method suits you best. You could create an open dialogue through emails, texting, voicemails, letters, in-person meetings, or even through websites where you can each set up schedules and exchange information without ever directly touching base.
- Maintain consistent rules within both households: While your children might not realize it now, it is crucial for them to have a stable routine and structure to their lives. This means that mealtime, bedtime, and chore delegation should be consistent across the board, regardless of which parent they are visiting. Make sure you and your ex-spouse are in complete agreement regarding this rules since a lack of consistency can ultimately frustrate your children and cause them hardship.
- Be aware that your children might act out: This is not an easy time for your children, but it is important that you do your best to stand your ground when they start testing boundaries and rules. They might begin to think that they can start getting away with things that were previously off-limits. Make sure your ex-spouse is aware of this behavior since creating a united front will be vital in addressing these issues with your children.
- Do not go below the belt: It is important to keep a positive environment for your children. You might be angry with your ex-spouse and you might never resolve the issues that led to your divorce, but he or she is still the parent of your children and you do not want to turn them against him or her. Avoid making negative or below the belt remarks about your former spouse and just remind your children that you both love them.
- Do not burden your children: This is somewhat in the same vein as refraining from making negative remarks about your ex-spouse in front of your children. Divorce is not a walk in the park and you are likely going to get frustrated with events that are happening throughout the process, but do not burden your children with your frustrations. You might want to go into detail about why the divorce is happening and you might even feel compelled to blame him or her, but this will ultimately only harm your children. If you are having trouble coping, vent to a close friend or a family member. You might even want to consider therapy. Whichever method of coping you choose, just make sure you do not put your children in the middle of the issues you and your ex are enduring.
Orange County Divorce Mediation Attorney
If you are in the process of a divorce, or are considering one, the Orange County divorce mediation attorneys at Alternative Divorce Solutions are here to help you through this difficult time. Our team works quickly and efficiently to ensure our clients receive the highest level of customer service and are able to reach a resolution that serves the needs of their family.
Contact our team today at (949) 558-2624 to schedule a free consultation.