Infidelity Can Impact Divorce Mediation

May 9, 2023
By Alternative Divorce Solutions

At Alternative Divorce Solutions, our divorce mediation process does not typically require us to ask our clients why they are getting a divorce. This is because California is a no fault state and bringing up the past usually results in creating a higher level of conflict between the parties. However, our clients sometimes share the reasons for the divorce with us even when not asked. This is how we know that infidelity causes the break down of many marriages in Orange County.

Infidelity comes with a lot of emotions and its own set of problems for divorce mediation. Most importantly, it impacts the trust between spouses which is the very foundation of a successful divorce mediation. For example, once infidelity has occurred, the harmed spouse may not trust the unfaithful spouse in the negotiations required to reach settlement. They almost certainly will not want to trust this person when it comes to financial matters. So, how is this handled? Here are some of the safeguards we put in place:

1. Screening:

In some cases, the clients may not be the right fit for divorce mediation. At Alternative Divorce Solutions, we offer a free consultation appointment to determine whether or not the couple has a high chance of success for mediation. If we recommend that the clients do not move forward with divorce mediation, we will usually inform the clients of other options that may be appropriate such as a collaborative process or even litigation.

2. Full disclosure:

As part of any divorce in Orange County, there are disclosures that need to be made. Namely, both spouses must make a full disclosure of their finances that includes assets, debts, income and expenses. When an asset or debt is listed, there must be supporting documents provided to ensure that the values stated are in fact accurate. Many times, the harmed spouse is put at ease knowing that they will be privy to all of the financial information.

3. Presence of the divorce mediator:

When couples who are going through a divorce try to communicate with each other one-on-one, it is often a recipe for disaster. Emotions are usually running high and the same communication barriers that the couple struggled with during the marriage still seem to hold them back. With the assistance of a divorce mediator, however, communication tends to be much more productive. The divorce mediator acts as a neutral who is there to assist both parties. The divorce mediator is also responsible for putting certain rules and boundaries in place that can assist the couples in completing the process respectfully and efficiently.


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