Can There Be Love After Divorce?
Recently, I read an article about a couple that got a divorce. There was something very unique about them, and reading their story both broke my heart and brought me joy. After the couple’s divorce proceedings were over, they took a post-divorce “selfie”. Yes, you heard it right and you can read about it here.
This couple took a photo of themselves outside of the court house immediately after the divorce had been finalized by the judge. The couple admits that they have always been a bit unconventional, but what I found to be truly remarkable was their attitude about the marriage and the divorce. Specifically, about what they chose for it to mean. The couple stated that they looked at the situation with the perspective that they were glad that the marriage happened. Even in the face of a divorce, they chose for it to mean that they were blessed enough to have the experience of being married to one another. While many couples view divorce as the end of their lives, this couple viewed it as the new beginning of their friendship. This really took me back. They chose love in the face of a challenge. That says everything there needs to be said about their character.
As a divorce mediator in OC, I handle a lot of divorce matters that people would consider to be amicable. Nonetheless, I see a lot of pain and emotion. No matter how you look at it, divorce is never easy. However, I think that this couple can serve as an example to all of us. You can choose peace, love and grace no matter what you are going through. You can choose what the experience of divorce will mean to you, your family, and your friends. This couple said that they posted the picture because they didn’t want the people close to them to feel like they had to choose sides or feel awkward around them. This is what I always refer to as the ripple effect of divorce. The divorce doesn’t just impact you, it impacts everyone that knows and loves you.
This is yet another reason why I am such a strong advocate for divorce mediation. Divorce mediation gives you the opportunity to leave the marriage in the most respectful way possible. It is not necessary to hurt the other person on your way out. You can choose to act from a place of love despite your painful experience. This, again, is a test of your character.