Our team ran across this little gem on Divorce Mediation while surfing the web and had to share… Kudos to the team at TopCounselingSchools.org for putting together such great content on Divorce Mediation.
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Close to 50% of first marriages and 60% of second marriages will end in divorce.
Just in 2009:
1 in 100 marriages ended.
[divorce per thousand by region] Northeast: Men: 7.2 Women:7.5
Midwest: Men:9.1 Women:9.2
South:Men: 10.2 Women: 11.1
West: Men: 9.2 Women: 9.8
Average: Men: 9.2 Women: 9.7
Based on income:  [divorce rate per thousand 2009] Public assistance: Men:14.7 Women:23.3
<$25,000: Men:17.2 Women:27.2
$25,000-$49,000: Men: 23.9 Women:29.9
$50,000-$74,999: Men:23 Women:19.4
>$75,000:Men: 32.6 Women:23.4
With nearly 1/10 white marriages ending in 2009:
Based on race: [divorce per thousand by race] White: Men:77.4 Women:76.1
Black: Men: 12.5 Women: 13.1
American Indian: Men: .9 Women: .8
Asian: Men:2.6 Women: 3.8
In total there’s a divorce in America every 13 seconds.
Many of those divorces will be settled with mediation.
Core Mediation Issues: 1.) Distribution of property
2.) Child Custody and Parenting Time
3.) Child Support/Maintenance
So does mediation work?
Mediation produces agreement in 50-80% of cases.
Including those that are :
Involving domestic abuse
Involving Intense marital conflict
Traits of good mediators:
Humor, optimism, empathy, sympathy, friendliness.
Mediators can’t be robots.
Quickly grasp complex issues, shift tactics rapidly.
This should be about your problem, not a mediator with a problem understanding you.
Prepared, controls own feelings, neutral, hard worker.
Imagine coming to an agreement with three warring parties.
Bachelors in psychology, social work, or law
J.D’s and extra courses in child psychology
State, Local, County Court, continuing education, and ACR (Association for Conflict Resolution) training.
It’s a lot cheaper than litigation:
Mediation: $300 hour for mediation time $1800-$3800 document preparation
Litigation: $300-$350/hr each
Total: Avg. $20,000 per person
It takes a lot less time:
Mediation: Average 3-6 months Litigation: Average 2 years
It leads to better child support agreements:
Mediation: 80% voluntary compliance with child support Litigation: 40% voluntary compliance with child support
It’s confidential: Mediation: Financial info, discussions and decisions confidential.
Litigation: Becomes part of the public record. Hearings open to public.
Note: And it’s less adversarial.
But if it doesn’t work you have to start from scratch.
It’s up to you, but for many it’s worth a shot.
Mediation is for you if:
Decision for divorce is mutual
You have no desire to revive marriage
You would like to stay on decent terms with spouse
You both understand your financial situation
Your spouse hasn’t lied to you about anything important
You can disagree with your spouse in a civil way
You are not easily intimidated by your spouse
Physical violence is not an issue in your relationship